Divorce & Remarriage

Remarriage Involving Children

A divorce raises numerous financial problems and decisions. Find some helpful information here.

Starting a new life with a spouse can be both rewarding and challenging. There is almost always a period of adjustment that needs to take place. This can be much more complicated if either one (or both) of you have children from a prior marriage.

Dealing with the confusion around what role you’ll play in these children’s lives can be difficult. They may harbor ill feelings from the divorce and take them out on you or your spouse. They may have grown very attached to the custodial parent and see the new spouse as breaking up this relationship. As you can well imagine, there are a lot of emotions to contend with. 

Financial Responsibilities For A Child
Although you may have children of your own, you will also be assuming some responsibilities for your new spouse’s children. While their noncustodial parent will most likely continue to make timely support payments, you may be asked to help make financial decisions about the children. The costs that your spouse has to pay for child support (whether he or she is the custodial parent or not) will certainly impact your family budget.

Although you may feel morally responsible for the financial support of your new spouse’s children, you are generally not legally responsible for their support. Keep your priorities, such as retirement planning, in focus before offering any large-scale support.

Benefits Planning
Review your and your new spouse’s employer health benefits (if he or she is employed at a company offering benefits). You may discover that your plan offers better insurance for the children. If your plan does not allow for coverage of stepchildren, you may be able to seek a qualified medical child support order. Speak to your company’s benefit representative for more information.

Adoption Of Stepchildren
You may want to adopt your spouse’s children if it is beneficial to them (perhaps the noncustodial parent is dead, has abandoned the family, or has stopped paying child support payments). Based on state law, you may need the written permission of the other parent. 

By adopting a stepchild, you are terminating the child support obligations of the former parent and assuming them yourself. You will now have to meet your state’s standards (and your own moral commitment), as well as be responsible for some child support payments if this marriage fails. Upon a subsequent divorce, you probably would have difficulty winning physical custody of the child in a legal fight.

Even though the former parent has no further child support obligation upon your adoption of a stepchild, he or she still owes any unpaid amounts. If your spouse is in contact with this person, offer adoption in exchange for payment of prior unpaid child support. If this person is not in communication with your spouse, consider the costs of pursuing back child support. Any money you retrieve (after legal costs) can be used to help pay for the child’s care and allow you to use your own money for other things such as your retirement.

Estate Planning
Estate planning can be a particularly tricky matter when there are children born or adopted prior to your marriage. The basic estate planning strategy for families not facing this challenge is relatively straightforward; leave money to the surviving spouse and then he or she will decide how to distribute assets on his or her death. It is assumed that the children will be treated equally (or at least according to your wishes).

With children born or adopted from a previous marriage, you may be concerned that your spouse may not be fair to your children after you die. After your death, will your spouse include your children in his or her will? And will they be treated fairly?

Many couples in this situation include a Qualified Terminable Interest Property trust (QTIP) in their wills. It provides that the deceased spouse’s property goes into a trust from which the surviving spouse receives income annually (and principal when the income of the trust is insufficient for the needs of the spouse). Whatever is left in the trust when the surviving spouse dies goes to the beneficiary(ies) as stated in your will.

To protect your children upon death, you must have a will and have engaged in some degree of estate planning.




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